{"id":324,"date":"2012-12-10T10:55:50","date_gmt":"2012-12-09T23:55:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.eclectic-consult.com\/mooseblog\/?p=324"},"modified":"2012-12-12T16:51:33","modified_gmt":"2012-12-12T05:51:33","slug":"human-values-delusional-but-worth-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.eclectic-consult.com\/mooseblog\/2012\/12\/10\/human-values-delusional-but-worth-it\/","title":{"rendered":"Human values: Delusional but worth it…"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>So, last week I wrote about how we can protect ourselves from the consequences of memetic hacking <\/a>(if not the hack itself) by learning to distrust the consistency of the self, and being suspicious of our urges \u2013 rule of thumb: if it feels \u201cright\u201d it probably isn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

The problem with being constantly suspicious of the self, however, is that we kind of need a sense of self. We\u2019ve evolved a central self-concept for a good reason \u2013 it acts as a way of centralising a large amount of competing information and presenting it to a central \u201cme\u201d. This \u201cme\u201d, in turn, allows action. Nevertheless, for most of us, this action isn\u2019t usually well thought out. Instead, it\u2019s the end result\u00a0of our buy-in to the notion that we have a stable, consistent self, combined with information presenting itself to this \u2018central command\u2019 as important stuff that must be acted on. For example, if I feel angry, I might act in a way that I might later regret, but at the time it\u00a0felt extremely \u2018right\u2019. I\u2019ve already written quite a bit about how our emotions are the result of evolutionary survival systems <\/a>\u2013 emotions evolved to help us avoid danger, so they present themselves as very important (it feels \u2018right\u2019 to attend to them) when our limbic system detects danger. This used to work really well \u2013 it doesn\u2019t work so well in the modern world.<\/p>\n

So we\u2019ve ended up with a bit of a conundrum. On the one hand, we need the self to function, because without it we can\u2019t integrate the large amount of information presented to our brains at any given moment. On the other hand, a lot of what our self tells us to do is based\u00a0on faulty information, or bad subroutines, or crappy programming \u2013 hence the importance of distrusting the self and its urges. What\u2019s the solution?<\/p>\n

Well, the \u2018self\u2019 works best when we’re aware of the various ways it tries to influence us, letting us make better choices and providing greater flexibility. But to get to a place where we can use the self in this way, we need bring in the notion of values.<\/p>\n

A lot of people start gagging when they hear this word. The term \u2018values\u2019 has been horribly over and misused in recent times, especially by organisations who spout platitudes about how they care for the environment and respect their workers, when it\u2019s basically a big bunch of bullshit \u2013 the product of the fecund imaginations of marketing departments acting at the behest of sociopathic corporate leaders (oops, did that sound a little ranty?). But, put simply, a value is simply a belief system that works for an individual. The big difference between a value and a goal, is that a value is something you can do something about, right now, whilst a goal generally requires the intervention of\u00a0others, or the alignment of\u00a0a set of circumstances. Values are variable by nature \u2013 some people value being arseholes, others value the comfort of barn animals (OK, hopefully not many of you guys) but, in general, there are a core group of values that most people share, and which are actually pretty nice. They include relationships with others (intimate, familial, platonic), work, leisure, self-development, community and environment, spirituality, and parenting. And, of course, they\u2019re all delusions.<\/p>\n

Hang on \u2013 my cherished values are delusional? Well, yeah, given that all experiences are effectively simulations of reality based on our small window into the world (read here<\/a>) and our limited ability to model that world. And because the notion of\u00a0self is also a fiction, albeit a relatively useful one, anything that you (or your self) holds dear, is also a part of that fiction. But, and here\u2019s the important bit, our values, delusional though they may be, are extremely handy for helping us evaluate our urges and feelings against a given, consistent template. In other words, having a reliable, well-understood value set allows us to compare our internal experiences and proposed (or actual actions) against a scheme \u2013 if it genuinely fits, we can go ahead and act, if it doesn\u2019t, we need to consider another course of action. Put yet another way, values help us set an overarching set of principles to guide the self and, as a bonus,\u00a0to help us feel as if the illusory self has meaning (even though meaning is also illusory!)<\/p>\n

OK, I\u2019m getting slightly ahead of myself here. Before we can decide how to act, we need to give a lot of thought toward understanding our values (even though they don\u2019t really exist). I mentioned nine core human values (above) and these are a great place to start. I use an exercise with my clients called a \u2018values compass\u2019 \u2013 I get my clients to list out the values most important to them (of the nine) and the actions within those values that are meaningful to them. For instance, for me, for work to be\u00a0valuable it needs to be\u00a0stimulating, I need the opportunity to be challenged (but with corresponding skill improvements), and I need to have meaningful interactions with other people.<\/p>\n

Getting on with the values compass exercise, once my clients have identified their values and the actions and circumstances that make those values meaningful, they rate the importance of\u00a0the given values out of 10 (so, for instance, work might be an 8 out of 10), and then rate how effectively they\u2019re living, presently, in line with that value. Thus, although I might, for example,\u00a0identify that leisure is extremely important to me (9 out of 10), I might only be attending to it infrequently and in a way that doesn\u2019t really fulfil me (say 4 out 10). This disparity is a big clue: maybe I need to do something about it \u2013 that is, I need to modify my actions to be more in line with my values \u2013 I call this \u2018values-congruent actions\u2019.<\/p>\n

So now, values become an important touchstone for guiding our actions. To illustrate, say an important aspect of my value regarding intimate relationships was to be\u00a0able to be\u00a0there for my wife, to actually listen to her, and to put her\u00a0needs at the same level as my own (I almost said to not put my needs first, but this violates a rule of value setting: never set a value that a dead person could do better than you \u2013 so, for instance, a dead person will always be better at being less angry than me, or controlling his or her temper\u2026). Now let\u2019s say I get really pissed off by something she does. My urge is to scream and shout and rant, so that I can get my way and prove my point. This urge is the result of an emotional trigger and the consequent feeling of anger. At this point I can choose to rant at her (values-incongruent), or I can choose to be guided by my values, recognise that even though I feel like shouting (it feels \u2018right\u2019 at that point in time) I have another choice. The anger is just a sensation (albeit one accompanied by a powerful urge to act a certain way \u2013 but it\u2019s still just a sensation).<\/p>\n

All of this highlights the importance of a values overlay in motivating action, because our actions are the only things we can really control. Even better, acting in line with our perceived values allows us to cultivate an illusion that is personally worthwhile (whatever that actually means) \u2013 but illusion or not, values and values-congruent actions allow us a form of consistency in the self, rather than a heap of self-delusional stories that help us to rationalise our behaviour post-hoc.<\/p>\n

So, yeah \u2013 distrust that self \u2013 it (and by extension you) isn\u2019t really there, and the urges you feel aren\u2019t \u2018right\u2019 or \u2018just\u2019 at all, they\u2019re just the crap that surfaces based on a whole load of out-of-date hardware running buggy software. But, if you parse all of that through a highly accessible\u00a0values system, you get to be deliberate in your actions \u2013 and that\u2019s the only choice that will ever really be yours.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So, last week I wrote about how we can protect ourselves from the consequences of memetic hacking (if not the hack itself) by learning to distrust the consistency of the self, and being suspicious of our urges \u2013 rule of thumb: if it feels \u201cright\u201d Read More …<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"The Eclectic Moose has a new blog post! Human values: Delusional but worth it...","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1,4],"tags":[105,6,106,43,13],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":602,"url":"https:\/\/www.eclectic-consult.com\/mooseblog\/2013\/07\/03\/the-perils-of-self-esteem-or-why-self-confidence-is-bad-for-you\/","url_meta":{"origin":324,"position":0},"title":"The perils of self-esteem (or why self-confidence is bad for you)…","date":"03\/07\/2013","format":false,"excerpt":"This week's blog comes to you from Paris. Last week - I wrote about how believing in a particular identity can screw you up. I was writing about how buying into the notion of what comprises an 'adult' can lead to all sorts of feelings of inadequacy and failure. Today\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eclectic-consult.com\/mooseblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/image-e1372840004408.jpg?fit=250%2C375&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":594,"url":"https:\/\/www.eclectic-consult.com\/mooseblog\/2013\/06\/25\/am-i-a-grown-up-yet\/","url_meta":{"origin":324,"position":1},"title":"Am I a grown-up yet?","date":"25\/06\/2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Today's post comes to you from a coffee shop in downtown Edinburgh... (for those of you wondering where to get really good coffee in Edinburgh, try the Brew Lab in South College Street.) So, I've been travelling for 10 days or so, and one thing that's come to mind over-and-over\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eclectic-consult.com\/mooseblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/20130622-084157.jpg?fit=200%2C300&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":133,"url":"https:\/\/www.eclectic-consult.com\/mooseblog\/2012\/09\/03\/human-punctuation\/","url_meta":{"origin":324,"position":2},"title":"Human Punctuation","date":"03\/09\/2012","format":false,"excerpt":"This week, I'd like to write about something that's been on my mind for the last month since I quit my job (and pretty much every transition point in my life over the last 15 or so years - and if you're anything like me, your life will be full\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Business"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eclectic-consult.com\/mooseblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/Go-sign-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":624,"url":"https:\/\/www.eclectic-consult.com\/mooseblog\/2013\/07\/29\/you-cant-polish-a-turd-but-you-can-roll-it-in-glitter\/","url_meta":{"origin":324,"position":3},"title":"You can’t polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter…","date":"29\/07\/2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I started this blog post a while back when I first heard the expression \"you can't polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter\". It got me thinking about all the ways (as human beings) we delude ourselves and others, so much so that many of us live\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Business"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":662,"url":"https:\/\/www.eclectic-consult.com\/mooseblog\/2014\/01\/20\/building-a-better-self-using-cognitive-hacking-to-modify-your-fuck-ups\/","url_meta":{"origin":324,"position":4},"title":"Building a better self: Using cognitive hacking to modify your fuck-ups…","date":"20\/01\/2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Over the last 18 months, I've written a fair bit on the concept of self, and the various issues with being human that get in the way of our mental wellbeing. Today, I'd like to revisit that theme, tying together a few of the various ideas into a sort of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eclectic-consult.com\/mooseblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/Construction-e1377302750358.jpg?fit=350%2C250&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":204,"url":"https:\/\/www.eclectic-consult.com\/mooseblog\/2012\/12\/03\/memetic-inoculation-how-to-develop-immunity-to-memetic-hacking-and-avoid-the-zombie-apocalypse\/","url_meta":{"origin":324,"position":5},"title":"Memetic inoculation – how to develop immunity to memetic hacking (and avoid the Zombie apocalypse)","date":"03\/12\/2012","format":false,"excerpt":"A while back I\u00a0wrote\u00a0about memes and how they can 'hack' past our consciousness (here). I suggested that some concepts, like religion, are particularly effective at getting past our conscious defences because, as 'sticky' memes, they are able to trigger a wide range of fundamental human needs, making them seem and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eclectic-consult.com\/mooseblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/Virus-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2ys79-5e","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eclectic-consult.com\/mooseblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/324"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eclectic-consult.com\/mooseblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eclectic-consult.com\/mooseblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eclectic-consult.com\/mooseblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eclectic-consult.com\/mooseblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=324"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.eclectic-consult.com\/mooseblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/324\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":336,"href":"https:\/\/www.eclectic-consult.com\/mooseblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/324\/revisions\/336"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eclectic-consult.com\/mooseblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=324"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eclectic-consult.com\/mooseblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=324"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eclectic-consult.com\/mooseblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=324"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}